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Visiting the lawyers

The gimp prepares hus sloppy carcase for another day among the legal fraternity

Preparing his sloppy hoary old carcase for another day among the legal fraternity

So it is what it is. I look like crap and no amount of good clothing will make me look better. That is one option anyway. The other and probably parallel fact is that I live in a place and in a way where I cannot get my fat foolish old self to clothing stores that sell clothing that works on my carcase.

However all is not lost. There is the internet which can be searched for clues to give the ungainly and the unpleasant some chance of dressing like they care. I mean. Take a smelly old zombie, stick a broom handle up his butt to correct his posture and pull back his shoulders, give him some clean undies and an ironed shirt and he must look like the zombie who cared enough to dress for the occasion. Sheesh even I can do that !

There was a site about manliness. The things one does to look more manly than those who do not. One of those things was the tie. The skinny tie is less formal. It is the tie a skinny person should wear with a shirt that is not strictly a business shirt. I wondered if a flabby guy could get away with a skinny tie. I have one someone gave me and even then it is polyester. Polyester is cool isn’t? Isn’t it getting rare now and kinda retro? So I wore my skinny retro polyester tie.

The tie, be it skinny or wide or long or short’ should have its furthest tip sit between the top and middle of the belt buckle to make one look as one knows what it is to be manly and well-dressed. Note the tie on the bearded fat-guy at the right. They did not say how long the tie should be if the shirt was not tucked in but I suspect that not tucking the shirt in is less than cool. Ah well.

The best knot for a skinny tie is the “Four in Hand” I wondered what the Four in Hand knot was and in the documentary they said it was among the most casual and easy of knots and the one they teach children. In the video to tie that knot I see that the knot I know is the Four in Hand and appropriately I was taught it as a child. I thought I knew the half-nelson or whatever it is called. So the tie is tied and on a burgundy button-down two-pocket casual business shirt which is a bit casual for a wide tie although I did wear one of them last time I wore the shirt to court. The jeans are black jeans of an unknown brand and very obviously only cost me almost nothing. The belt is a lovely worn black leather one with a real brass buckle. I spent a long time last night polishing my shoes.

They are black business shoes with a built-up sole on the left foot  that makes it look as though I have one Doc Martin and one Windsor Smith so there is little elegance from them. They are shiny as shiny can be though. Dad was an officer in the air force after all.Did I mentioned I polished my shoes? I am proud of that!

The watch is a bit big for my wrist because taking one clip out of the band makes it too small. The ring looks fine and is appropriate to the watch while the pen is a charity one from the Marine Rescue. The gold top looks cool against the burgundy shirt. The watch is a stainless steel one with a white face and Roman numerals

My hair went all sticky uppy. The hairdresser asked if I used “product” in my hair and I wondered why at the time. Age has made my hair go erect as some sort of compensation for those body parts which have become reluctant. I do not feel good right now so I will come back and write about lawyers later just in case someone wants to know what is going on there

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